


good girl

by grus



Category: Aşk 101|Love 101
Genre: (I mean these are Sinan's parents obviously), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/M, Mentions of abusive parenting, mentions of depression, nothing heavier than on the show though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24023884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grus/pseuds/grus
Summary: Sinan meets Işık for the first time. It's both heaven and hell.
Relationships: Sinan/Işık
Comments: 20
Kudos: 39





	good girl

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short bit of fic, but I wanted to get this fandom off the ground on ao3 as well as write something with my kids.
> 
> Set before the series.

It's two weeks into the first year of high school and Sinan thinks nothing can surprise him anymore. He's cracked the code and knows how to handle his classmates and teachers well enough to survive, hip flask always at the ready, and desk comfortable enough to sleep on.

The first class hasn't started yet and he's already half asleep on his desk. It's one of those days he's beyond caring. His asshole of a father had come up to the house the previous day, but as usual only to take some memorabilia he hadn't snatched yet, this time silverware that his new wife wanted. What next? At some point he'll probably take grandpa's chair, if Sinan doesn't stop him.

But then... there's a commotion, loud whispers and something about a new girl reaches Sinan's ears.

He reluctantly lifts his head from the desk and turns to the classroom door. It's open and there's an unfamiliar girl standing in the doorway.

Not a girl.

An angel.

It's a lovely sunny day outside (not that Sinan would normally pay much attention to that) and the sun coming in from the windows is framing her head almost like a halo, her blonde hair glowing in the light.

Or maybe Sinan's had one too many already and he's just seeing things, but damn if his breath doesn't catch in his throat.

Her smile is shy but warm and she looks both scared and excited to make new friends, already assessing the classroom and sending smiles everywhere.

Even at him.

Her gaze lingers on him and somehow it seems like she's looking at him longer than the others.

Or maybe it's just wishful thinking.

Wait, since when did he care about girls looking at him or not?

But then she's coming right up to him in quick strides and he hears her sweet voice for the first time:

"Hi, I'm Işık. It's very nice to meet you! Is this seat taken?" she beams at him.

"What?" he just stares like an idiot.

"I'm Işık..." she hesitates, "can I sit next to you?" she gives him an awkward smile, trying to cover up her clear unease.

"I guess..." he trails off looking around, there's at least two other spots she could take, no scratch that, even three. Why the hell would she come up to him first? He looked like a mess and he knew it. He had eyes and did in fact sometimes (rarely) look at himself in the mirror. He was pale, scruffy, his hair was always sticking out in every direction, and he had dark bags under his eyes. He looked every bit the depressed teenage alcoholic he was. No one could accuse him of a lack of self-awareness.

"Thanks," she gives him a nod and sits down, turning to him.

"So what is your name?" she coaxes him again.

"Sinan..." he pauses, "Nice to meet you too," he adds somewhat reluctantly. He decides he can be civil enough for the one conversation they're ever likely to have before she realizes her mistake and runs away screaming.

"Such a pretty name," and unless he's more drunk than he realizes it there's a blush on her face when she says it. She must be one of those shy folks or an easy blusher, he's not going to read anything more into it than it is.

"I don't really think so..." he starts, thinking what sarcastic remark to give but the sad look in her eyes stops him.

"I mean, thanks. Never thought of it that way," he corrects himself and she smiles.

"Yours is nice too, Işık," and it is nice, he thinks to himself, feeling himself smile for the first time in what seems like months. And it's a genuine one, not like his usual sarcastic smirks. And okay, this is starting to scare him.

Işık (light), suits her, what with that bright smile, golden hair and gleaming blue eyes, he could get lost in if he's not careful.

Just now he feels like he could start writing poetry.

Well fuck.

She's saying something to him again and it's either a coming hangover or his brain has just fried from staring at her because he can't make out a word.

"Sinan, I said, can I borrow your notebooks. I was ill and couldn't come before today," she repeats somewhat forcefully, but she still manages to sound polite about it, even though she caught him not listening.

"Uh..." his notebooks... he can't remember the last time he had a notebook. Probably when he was 10.

"It's okay if you need them, I can ask someone else,"she chirps but she sounds slightly disappointed.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not good at running those, but I can tell you what we covered... more or less," he can already tell she's a "good" student, a diligent girl who mistakenly assumes he can be of any help to her. For the first time, he slightly regrets not having a single bit of notes on him, heck, more often than not doesn't even carry a pen for that matter.

"Thanks," she grins.

Oh, god...

"So can we meet after school?" she suggests tentatively, cutely quirking her head to the side.

And for a second there he really wants to agree.

"Sorry, I have to go home and make dinner for my grandpa and my dog," and that's actually the truth. He doesn't even know if he wants to curse or sigh in relief. Probably both.

"That's actually so sweet of you, Sinan," she touches his shoulder and her smile is positively blinding.

"You're a dutiful grandson, I'm impressed," she beams. "Don't worry, I can ask someone else," she reassures him.

Impressed?

What the actual...

"It's really not a big deal, and trust me, there's nothing impressive about me. You'll find out soon enough. And then you'll scram and sit with Pelin over there just like you should have in the first place," he grits out. Too much is too much.

"What are you talking about, Sinan?" There's hurt in her face and voice, and damn if he doesn't feel guilty. But that's how he is and the sooner she knows it the better. He's doing her a favour if anything.

"Well, you can say what you want, I'm not going anywhere," she says forcefully, almost the equivalent of stomping her leg.

And now he's the one impressed.

Damn...

"Do what you want, I can't tell you what to do," he shrugs hoping that's the end of it.

"I will," she huffs indignantly but doesn't move from the spot.

The lesson starts and the teacher asks her to come to the front of the class and introduce herself.

Sinan just stares at her, free to do so now that her attention isn't on him anymore.

But then she catches his eyes and smiles directly at him.

He ignores it but he feels like she's winning at a game he doesn't want to be playing.

She sits back down next to him and focuses on the class. He lays his head down on the desk as usual and tries to nap instead of overanalyzing everything that just went down.

It's not working.

The bell rings and heck, she's apparently not going anywhere, as she just pulls out a copy of some book, a novel he thinks?

He's gonna have to be the one to go, find somewhere to lie down for the next quarter of an hour.

But almost involuntarily he asks "What are you reading?"

"Wuthering Heights," she beams enthusiastically, and he wants to ask himself why the hell he started this conversation.

"Do you know it?" she prods, trying to keep the conversation going.

"Yeah..." he replies noncommittally.

"You do? Isn't it just great? I mean so tragic but so romantic! Can you believe, such love! I just..." she flails.

"It's an unrealistic pile of garbage is what it is," and he's lying because he did in fact kind of like it. Self destruction is what Heathcliff and Catherine are best at, so he can relate, he thinks grimly. Nothing romantic about that.

"Sinan, why are you like this?" she demands, hurt evident in her voice once again.

"What? I'm just being honest," he defends himself, doesn't even know why.

"You don't have to like it, but you don't have to be rude about it!" she cuts him off and goes back to her book.

Well good, he thinks to himself. They're done here and that's for the better.

He leaves the classroom shutting the door behind him forcefully.

He needs a drink.

He checks his pocket for his hip flask.

And fuck. He left it in his bag.

Which he left in the classroom.

And he's not going back to have to deal with her... everything again.

This was going to be a hard year.

I mean technically, he could just sit next to Pelin... Pelin hated his guts but that felt somehow preferable to this, whatever this was.

And then there's a small hand on his shoulder.

"Sinan, don't go away. I'm not mad, you just made me a bit sad, but I'm sure you didn't mean it," and there's that infuriating, misplaced kindness again.

He turns and glares at her.

"Friends?" she extends a hand to shake.

He groans inwardly.

"Whatever," but he does shake her hand because it would be more awkward if he didn't and he doesn't know how to make this stop anymore. Doesn't know if he even wants to stop it.

"Alright," she smiles at him one last time as he leaves for wherever that's not here.

Next class is in less than ten.

And fuck he still didn't get his flask.

He's gonna have to sneak a drink during class because he was not going to handle this sober.

He just plops down on the floor, rests his head against the mercifully cool wall and breathes.

And in that moment he hates himself and everything that he's become and how he can't even dream of getting close to a good girl like her. For her own sake.

He makes a decision and goes back into the class, picks up his bag without a word, ignoring her.

"Sinan?" she looks up from her book but he's already leaving.

"I'm not feeling well, I'm going home," and it's not really a lie. He is not feeling well at all.

"I can take you to the nurse," she offers, kind as ever.

He doesn't reply, just leaves as fast as he can.

At least he has his flask again because damn right he needs it.

The bitter taste of the whisky is usually enough to take his mind off everything.

This time... it's not.

He's getting smashed the minute he's home.

After he's fed grandpa and the dog that is.

Drunk out of his mind.

* * *

He doesn't come to school for the following two days. But when he finally does she's still sitting at his desk. 

So she hadn't run off screaming, disgusted by his act. 

Odd.

"Hi, Sinan! I was so worried, you were acting so weird when you left the other day! Were you sick? I don't have your number, so I couldn't call and ask how you were... I mean I'm sorry, you don't know me, you don't have to give me your number," she blushes.

"I'm fine now. Let's just drop it, okay?" he tries to sound flippant about it.

He looks in the direction of Pelin's desk and the free seat next to her, and then he looks back at his own next to Işık.

He hesitates.

Then starts walking in Pelin's direction.

"Aren't you going to sit down, Sinan?" Işık looks worried.

And he hates what she can do to him, even though he barely knows her.

Maybe after a few days in his company she'll be the one to go to Pelin. 

Fine. 

He sits down next to Işık reluctantly.

Soon enough he'll have his desk back to himself.

And his peace.

**Author's Note:**

> And then he didn't!
> 
> /Kudos and comments are very appreciated!


End file.
